Fighting our Inner Problems

This article is comprised of the Opinion of William Hartnett. 

Trigger Warning: This article discusses mental health, depression, anxiety, and suicide. 

Article by: William Hartnett

It’s sometimes a struggle to get up in the morning; my mind starts to rush with problems that may occur throughout my day. This is not the only thing that occurs. Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to do anything. However, I know that I must fight my inner problems.

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression about 10 years ago. Ever since then I have gone through many challenges in my life and I will experience many more. Many people, in my opinion, do not quite understand what anxiety and depression are. Anxiety according to the National Institute of Mental Health is essentially stress that leads to the fear that something may happen.  Depression also according to the NIMH is a serious mood disorder. One other thing that I believe that people don’t quite realize is that depression and anxiety is different for everyone. You can’t put everyone under the same category for anxiety and depression cause it will just be wrong.

Anxiety to me is like a steep and dangerous mountain, unpredictable in nature. I have had some of the worst times with my anxiety. When I was younger, I had developed multiple types of disorders; a generalized anxiety disorder, a panic disorder, a phobia-related disorder, and a separation anxiety disorder. To this day I still have them; they don’t go away as easy as people think they do. They are liked locked doors that are waiting for that moment when someone unlocks them so they can spill out whatever destruction they may cause.

Generalized anxiety is typically where most of my anxiety takes place. It usually involves me worrying about upcoming events or something that may have taken place the day before. I get so wound up that I can’t even relax. I sometimes can’t sleep at night because of this, the same goes for all the others. It’s a struggle to tame this generalized anxiety that can just spiral out of control because of a single thought. Sometimes my generalized anxiety causes anxiety and panic attacks. A panic attack is a sudden attack that comes out of nowhere. The worst part about panic attacks is you can’t control when they are going to happen and that can be very traumatizing at times. It’s hard to fight something that you can’t control.

I’ve never liked the idea of death, I know my anxiety does not like it either. Growing up, I always knew the idea of someone dying was a sad thing but I didn’t know what it could cause. Spending half your eighth-grade year in the nurse’s office having panic attacks because you just attended your first funeral. Seeing the worst things happening to your family members. This also led to my separation disorder that I had growing up. I hated being away from my family and the second I heard a fire truck or an ambulance, my mind would start flashing images over and over till I broke down crying. It drove me mad, sometimes it still does.

Growing up, I’ve learned that you can’t let your own thoughts and fears consume your life. I still struggle to this day with these disorders, sometimes they are not so bad. When they are, however, I know I have to fight back.

Depression can hit you when you least expect it, I know it has for me. Depression to me is as if you are floating, you don’t know if a wave is going to hit you and send you under the water to meet your end or if you will just keep floating. I’ve gone through several antidepressants over the past years; some have helped, some, unfortunately, did not. Some even made things worse for me, they left a little imprint in my mind. Depression can ruin your day, it can ruin how you live, it can ruin your thoughts. There was one time where I thought about just making it stop, make it never happen again for me. I’m thankful I did not go through and I use that as a reminder that there are people out there who are experiencing what I am experiencing.

If you’re depression or anxiety is making you think of suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. Also, I really do recommend you talk to someone about your feelings, someone you trust and know that can help you.

It’s the simple things that can go a long way.

It can be a struggle to get out of bed in the morning when it feels like the world is against us. It’s hard to do anything when you feel like doing nothing. But, we can’t let our anxiety and depression control our lives, we can’t lose to our inner problems; we must always fight back.


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